Thorns and Thistles: Applying the Fall to my marriage

Honey locust
http://identifythatplant.com/a-couple-thorny-locusts/

I regularly listen to two podcasts each week to gain more insight into the Come Follow Me lessons, followHim and Talking Scripture. Many of my friends also listen to these and other podcasts. I imagined a Sunday School lesson where we were sharing what we’d learned from podcasts passed off as our own insights. I have also shared what I’ve learned from podcasts with my husband and son, and the joke in our house now is that if you do something I don’t like, you deserve to listen to a podcast. Or more than one. So this past week as we studied about Adam and Eve and the Fall, I pondered what I’d truly learned. I was able to apply some teachings from these podcasts and my own study to my life, and in the application, my faith and testimony increased.

After Adam and Eve partook of the fruit, the Lord God told them, “Thorns also, and thistles shall it [the ground] bring forth to thee, and thou shalt eat the herb of the field” (Moses 4:24). We have a thorn-less locust tree in our back yard that has thorns. It’s a beautiful tree, but you have to be careful when you walk past to not get caught. My husband and I have been married twenty-nine years and are still learning how to communicate and love and respect each other. There was tension between us this week, and I was feeling defensive. I listened to a couple of relationship podcasts and learned some good tools but also some that didn’t feel quite right. Then I asked in my scripture study how to fix the tension with my husband, and the answer I received was to pour out my soul to him. I did, and it was scary, not because he’s a scary person, but because it’s uncomfortable to be vulnerable. We had a good conversation, and I realized that the tension had built up because I wasn’t being open with him. I saw how a concept I learned from Dr. Shon D. Hopkin on followHim applied to my marriage. After Eve ate the fruit, she went to Adam and he ate the fruit. Eve didn’t hide what she’d done from Adam, and he didn’t reject her (Moses 4:12). Then when the Lord God asked about what they’d done, they admitted they’d eaten the fruit. The consequences of their choice was that Adam and Eve knew good and evil, were able to have children, had to work “by the sweat of [their faces], and would die (Moses 4:25). Then, as was always the plan, The Lord God provided a Savior to atone for our sins and the sins of Adam and Eve so that we can return to His presence. Through my actions and choices like Adam and Eve, I saw that as I worked through the thorns and thistles and involved the Lord in asking, I had joy in my relationship with my husband. I know that it is in the personal application of the concepts and insights from the lessons that I learn and grow. And I know that while podcasts and experts can help me understand and learn more, it is through the grace of Jesus Christ that my relationships are strengthened, and I become who He wants me to be.

Daily Answers: Improving my marriage

For years I felt like my husband put in more effort in our marriage than I did. I could tell you lots of excuses like I was busy raising the children, or needed to keep the house clean, or do my church service. I prayed often about what to do, but only felt like I should try harder and I didn’t know how to do that. About a year-and-a-half ago I received the revelation to record daily what I appreciated about my husband. I’ve done that and slowly our relationship has grown. Today in my morning scripture study, I was given a better understanding of how that happened.

My question for today was, “How can I improve my marriage?” Before my scripture study, I ask in prayer what my question should be and that was the first one that settled into my mind. I questioned my question because I feel like our marriage is strong right now. Here are the phrases I noticed clearly from Mosiah 4:1-12: “receive forgiveness, remission of sins, his goodness, his matchless power, his wisdom, his patience, his long-suffering, put trust in the Lord, receiveth salvation, see that ye do them, grow in the knowledge of what is just and true.” What I learned was that when I prayed to improve my marriage and was ready to repent, I received guidance. I am still trying to understand the process of repent, and I’m coming to understand that repentance doesn’t mean never committing the sin again. It means turning to the Lord. I didn’t understand all that needed to happen in my marriage, but the Lord did. He has “matchless power, wisdom, patience, long-suffering.” He knew that by noticing and appreciating my husband, my heart would be softened. It wasn’t my husband that needed to change. It was me.

I am grateful that when I was ready to repent, the Lord showed me a simple step that had miraculous results.