My husband was sustained as the bishop of a new ward this past Sunday. For our first Sunday, he asked that I share my testimony in sacrament meeting. I’ve never shared my testimony as the bishop’s wife before and while a bishop, including my husband, and his family are not perfect, there is an expectation of behavior and belief. I’ve thought a lot this week about my testimony. Recently due to questions from family members and friends concerning the restored gospel and our prophet, I’ve questioned my own beliefs and had frequent doubts. While there is so much I don’t know and understand, there are some things I do know.
God is my Heavenly Father and He loves me. My earliest memory of this was when I was a child, sometime before I was eight years old. I was in bed at night and my dad was at a church meeting. A feeling of despair came over me, an almost tangible heavy darkness in my room. When my dad came home, I asked him for a blessing or to pray. I can’t remember which. He did what I asked and the darkness lifted. I had faith in my father. I knew he loved me, and I knew he could dispel the darkness. I now know that was because of the power of the priesthood. My earthly father’s love and power were a manifestation of my Heavenly Father’s love and power.
Jesus Christ is my Savior and because of His atonement, I can be cleansed of my sins and succored in my trials. I was praying for one of my children, crying in despair, and into my mind came the words, “Your child is in my hands” along with the image of the Savior’s open hands with the marks from the cross. I was taught that I am not my child’s Savior, to have faith in the Savior, and that Jesus Christ’s atonement was for me and my child.
Joseph Smith was a prophet. He translated The Book of Mormon and restored the gospel of Jesus Christ in the latter days. I just finished reading Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Bushman. There are pieces of church history that are uncomfortable, but Joseph Smith was able to accomplish more in his lifetime than seems humanly possible. And it wasn’t possible on his own. Learning more about Joseph Smith makes me appreciate his life and sacrifice and reminds me that the Lord can use my efforts to do great things.
I know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are real because of the personal revelation I receive through the Holy Ghost. Moroni, a prophet in The Book of Mormon, taught, “I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith” (Ether 12:6). When I was a child, I relied on the faith of my parents. They loved me and I felt good when I attended church, read my scriptures, and prayed. Much of my obedience was out of duty to my parents whom I loved and the culture of the church. As I began to receive consistent revelation of my own and I acted on that revelation, I saw the results of my faith and my faith increased. That still meant I needed to act in faith and then see what happened, but I had many experiences to remind me that I would be blessed when I acted in faith. One of those experiences was when I had the thought in the temple that I should start a book club in my new neighborhood. I resisted, but when I finally acted in faith, the eventual results were better than I imagined. I have come to love the women in my book club and am enriched every time we get together. I refer to this experience often to strengthen my faith. As the Stake Young Women’s Camp Director this past summer, I was reminded by the Spirit that as I did the Lord’s will concerning the book club, He made more of it than I could make on my own and that the same thing would happen with camp. On Sunday after my husband was set apart as the bishop, a member of the Stake Presidency asked if being the director for Young Women’s camp this past summer has helped me with my husband becoming the bishop. The answer is Yes! As I’ve had fear and doubts about how this would all work out and how members would feel about the changes and how all the callings would be filled and how my husband would be able to be the bishop during tax season, I’ve been reminded by the Spirit again and again of the miracles, personal revelation, and strength I received as the director of camp because of my willingness to do the Lord’s will. This is the Lord’s work!
I know that President Russell M. Nelson is a prophet. In April 2018, President Nelson said, “In coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost. I plead with you to increase your spiritual capacity to receive revelation” (“Revelation for the Church, Revelation for our Lives”). That prophecy has been fulfilled for me. There is so much confusion, so much doubt, so much information and misinformation, that if I did not study my scriptures and pray daily and act on personal revelation, I would not survive spiritually.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.