Year: 2017

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I’ve been taught that God is our loving Heavenly Father, that He is the father of our spirits and loves us with a deeper love than we can comprehend. He loved us so much that He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to die for us and to atone for our sins so we can return to live with Him. When I pray, I picture a loving father listening to me. But in many scriptures we are taught, “Let the fear of the Lord be upon you” (2 Chronicles 19:7) and “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Psalms 111:10). Am I supposed to fear the Lord or is “there…no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear?” (1 John 4:18).

 

Respect for Cars Analogy:

Recently two friends, fifteen year-old girls, were walking together to high school in the morning. At the crosswalk they pushed the stop button. It turned red alerting drivers to stop and they walked through the crosswalk. One of the girls made it across safely. The other was hit by a car which sped away. The girl who was hit was rushed to the hospital with two breaks in one leg and a cracked skull. She did not require surgery and is recovering well. The girl who walked through unscathed physically stayed home half the day and returned to school. Rumors and misinformation were rampant. The girl who was safe was called into the counselor’s office and asked why she was at school when she’d been hit by a car that day. The hit-and-run driver later turned himself in because of surveillance video released of his car.

 

This incident brought back my own memories of a similar incident in high school. Mormon teenagers or members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who are in high school can attend a religion class before or during their school day. I had the opportunity to attend released time seminary. That meant that during the school day I would walk across the street to our seminary building to attend a class focused on teachings from our church. I did not earn high school credits for the class, but enjoyed the time learning about the gospel of Jesus Christ with friends who shared my beliefs. We were taught by a teacher hired by the church. The crosswalk we used had a button that would activate a blinking yellow light, alerting drivers to slow down. I had seminary during the first lunch period so teenage drivers were exiting the school parking lot and hurrying to get to their favorite fast food restaurants. We had learned that cars didn’t stop for a blinking yellow light. They stopped only when we were in the crosswalk. The day of this incident I was with my brother and a friend. I pushed the button, darted across, heard an awful squealing and thump and looked back to see my friend tossed across the hood of a car into the windshield and then thrown back onto the street. My brother was right behind her but unharmed. Somehow an ambulance was called. Somehow she got help. While I wasn’t physically harmed, I had an increased fear of being hit by a car while crossing the street.

 

Fear can be a motivator to keep us safe or it can be debilitating. When crossing a street, we should respect the bulk and speed of cars. We should take precautions to keep ourselves safe, but if we focus on paralyzing fear, we won’t be able to go outside, let alone progress.

 

In the Bible Dictionary of the King James version published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, this is what it says about fear. “Care should be taken to distinguish between the two different uses of this word. The ‘fear of the Lord’ is frequently spoken of as part of man’s duty (e.g., Psalms 110:10; Ecclesiastes. 12:13); it is also described as ‘godly fear’ (Hebrews 12:28). In such passages fear is equivalent to reverence, awe, worship, and is therefore an essential part of the attitude of mind in which we ought to stand toward the All-holy God. On the other hand fear is spoken of as something unworthy of a child of God, something that ‘perfect love casteth out’ (1 John 4:18). The first effect of Adam’s sin was that he was afraid (Genesis 3:10). Sin destroys that feeling of confidence God’s child should feel in a loving Father, and produces instead a feeling of shame and guilt. Ever since the Fall God has been teaching men not to fear, but with penitence to ask forgiveness in full confidence of receiving it” (Bible Dictionary, p. 672).

 

I’ve often felt guilt in relation to keeping the commandments or doing all that is required as a member of the church. I’ve heard some say that they’ve left the church because of all the guilt they feel and once they leave they don’t feel guilt anymore. How do I know if I’m feeling an unproductive guilt or fear or godly fear? What do I do about the guilt or fear?

 

The key for me is what happens when I turn to Christ. I used to think that repentance was something I should do only when I’d done something really bad and then it was a punishment. Elder David A. Bednar taught that “a consistent theme of repentance [is] the process of turning to God” (Turn Ye, Turn Ye Unto the Lord Your God, Ricks College Devotional, January 9, 2001). I think that our loving Heavenly Father wants us to come to him. To tell him our guilt and fears and then ask how we can improve. He doesn’t want us to be weighed down. He doesn’t want us to fear what is happening around us or inside of us. He wants to help us. Fear of the Lord is supposed to bring us to God, not make us run away. After Adam and Eve partook of the fruit in the Garden of Eden they hid from God. Satan had tempted them, they succumbed, and they felt fear that God would find out. “And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden. And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. And he said, Who told thee that thou was naked? Hast thou eaten the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?” (Genesis 7-11). God didn’t yell at them or tell them they were bad. He asked what had happened and then he made a way for them to fix their mistake. They had to leave the Garden of Eden, but God had provided a way for them to return to Him. He provided a Savior to atone for their sins and our sins.

 

When we feel guilt, Satan wants us to fear, to turn from our Savior.When we sin, our loving Heavenly Father wants us to turn to the Savior. In turning to the Savior, we show that we know that we are wrong and with His help we want to make it right. Our faith in a Savior who can save us from our sins and imperfections allows us to “go outside,” to not fear, and to progress.

Plural marriage is one of the most controversial historical practices of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I’ve read and pondered the Gospel Topic Essay, Plural Marriage in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I’ve also listened to many programs about the history of the Church which mention polygamy. My response to what I’ve learned is not church doctrine, but my reaction and opinion. Please read and study the essays for yourself for a more in-depth history and understanding. And to receive an assurance that the practice of plural marriage was from God, pray with a sincere heart and a willingness to come unto Christ.

 

The thought of plural marriage is detestable to me. I can’t imagine the difficulty of being a plural wife emotionally and sexually. I rely on a deep friendship with my husband. I don’t know how he could give the amount of emotional connection I need to an additional woman. I also thrive on order and having my house how I want it. I can’t imagine bringing another wife into my house. And with the trust and commitment that a sexual relationship requires, my mind and heart recoils at the thought of my husband having an intimate relationship with another woman.

 

Yet, I believe that Joseph Smith is a prophet. I’ve read, studied, and prayed about The Book of Mormon, a book of scripture he translated. I’ve received a witness by the Holy Ghost that it is true and from God. I feel good and at peace when I read The Book of Mormon and The Doctrine and Covenants, a book of revelations received by Joseph Smith and other church presidents. I love learning about our church’s history and marvel at the fortitude and faithfulness of early church members. Therefore I have to believe that Joseph Smith practiced and taught plural marriage as a commandment from God. Yes, when I hear that he married a 15 year-old and had many wives, I’m reminded of current day charismatic cult leaders who’ve lure in young and trusting girls. But because of my testimony of Joseph Smith I cannot believe that he had evil intentions.

 

A teaching from The Book of Mormon from the prophet Jacob is what has given me the best reason for plural marriage. Jacob taught, “For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none; For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts. For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things” (Jacob 2:27-30). These scriptures helped me understand that the Lord required plural marriage of Abraham and Isaac and Joseph Smith because there was a need for more children to be born to families who followed Christ and belonged to his church on the earth. I am a product of polygamy from both my mom and dad’s ancestors who were early members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This made sense to me, but I never wanted to be asked to live polygamy.

 

For years I thought that eventually I would be required to practice plural marriage. I assumed it was God’s law for marriage. It seemed like the hardest commandment I would be asked to keep. But I hoped I wouldn’t have to practice it until the next life. Recently I learned I was wrong. I was studying the Foundations of the Restoration course, Lesson 20: Plural Marriage. The first sentence is, “Marriage between one man and one woman is the Lord’s law unless He commands otherwise.” I don’t know why I’d had that misconception for so long. The lesson referenced the teaching from Jacob, “For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none” (Jacob 2:27), but I’d never understood that God’s law is marriage between one man and one woman, not between one man and several women. Unless the Lord requires plural marriage of a select few at select times. What a relief.

 

I do not understand completely the history, practice, and controversy of plural marriage in the church. But I do know that when I pray, when I repent, and give my desires and will to my Savior, I am happier, I experience miracles, and I feel guided and known by the creator of the world. I do not know all things now, but I know some things and that is what keeps me anchored in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints fast or go without food and water at least once a month. We fast because it is a commandment, because we expect promised blessings, to serve those in need, and to become humble and closer to our Savior. Typically fast Sunday is the first Sunday of the month. The suggested fast period is “two consecutive meals in a 24-hour period” (lds.org, “Fasting and Fast Offerings”). We also contribute fast offerings. We give the money we would have spent on food to the bishop of our ward (congregation). Those funds are used to help those in need. We are encouraged to offer more than we would have spent, to be generous.

 

The power of fasting happens when we not only go without food and water, but we turn to the Lord and pray for our own needs or for the needs of someone else. Joseph B. Wirthlin, an apostle, taught that “Without prayer, fasting is not complete fasting; it’s simply going hungry” (Joseph B. Wirthlin, April 2001, “The Law of the Fast”). There are many things we can pray for in our fast. We often hear of or share stories of miracles that happen as a result of fasting and prayer. I recently heard three stories related to fasting and praying for wayward children or children who are struggling that made me ponder what the power of fasting can and can’t do.

 

Three Stories:

A family fasted and prayed consistently for their child who had left the church. Gradually over two years, the child reconciled with the family and returned to church activity.

 

A father fasted one day every week for a year for his child who had left the church. At the end of the year, there had been no change in his son. He prayed and asked if he should continue his weekly fast. He received the answer that instead of fasting every week, he needed to see the good in his son and be thankful for his son.

 

A family fasted weekly for a son who was struggling. After five months of consistent weekly fasting, the son took his life.  The family mourned, but they were stronger personally and as a family because of turning to the Lord over those five months.

 

What was the same and different in these stories?

All three families fasted and prayed with a sincere desire for a struggling child. All three families wanted that child to return to the family and church activity. But that didn’t happen for all of them.  Does that mean they fasted wrong? Didn’t pray enough? The Lord didn’t love them?

 

Fasting and prayer do not have power over another person’s agency. Fasting and prayer are actions of faith. There are things faith can and cannot do. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, an apostle, taught that faith “cannot violate another person’s agency. Our Father in Heaven will not force anyone to choose the path of righteousness” (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, October 2016, “Fourth Floor, Last Door”).

 

While fasting and prayer cannot make someone else do something we want, they are powerful in other ways. Elder Shayne M. Bowen, a member of the Seventy, taught what fasting and prayer can do.

“Fasting gives us power over habits, addictions, and burdens.

A generous fast offering blesses others.

Fasting invites enlightenment and the companionship of the Holy Ghost.

Fasting helps us subdue the natural man.

Fasting intensifies prayer.

Fasting prepares us to bear testimony.

Fasting helps us recognize what we do have and gives us joy” (Elder Shayne M. Bowen, April 2009, “Fasting with Power”).

 

Fasting and prayer are powerful and for all three of the families who fasted for wayward children, fasting turned them towards their Savior Jesus Christ. I learned this lesson for myself recently. A few months ago I was concerned that my eighteen-year old son was not doing enough to prepare to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He wasn’t wayward. I just didn’t think he was prepared. I wondered what I could say to him, what lecture I could give that would get him to do what I wanted him to do. I decided to fast and pray. I began my fast Saturday night before Fast Sunday and prayed that I would be inspired from something I heard the next day at church of what I could say and do for my son. On Sunday I showed up for a leadership council meeting before church. A member of that council approached me and said, “I had a great experience with your son last week administering the sacrament to a woman in her home.” Then during the meeting as we discussed needs of ward members, two more members of the council mentioned my son and the good things he was doing to prepare for a mission. My fasting and prayer that Sunday did not change my son. They changed me. Fasting and prayer enlightened me, helped me recognize the good my son was doing, and gave me joy in my son.

 

I know that fasting and prayer are actions of faith that are powerful. I know as we fast and pray with a desire to turn to our Savior, we will be changed.

 

I know that Jesus Christ lives. That He is real. That He knows me and loves me. Not because I have seen Him with my eyes, but because I have felt His forgiveness, His comfort, His guidance, the power of His atonement, and His love. I’ve seen evidence of His reality thorough the joy I feel when following Him, living the gospel, and keeping His commandments. Many times, but especially over the last two years I’ve seen evidence of His love for me and others as I’ve been directed to visit or serve someone at just the right time.

 

The core of my testimony is from reading and studying The Book of Mormon. I’ve read and prayed to know if it is true many times. Every time I’ve felt the warm assurance from through the Holy Ghost that it is true. Although I have doubts at times and wonder how all will be made right, I come back to the peace and strength I feel as I study The Book of Mormon. If The Book of Mormon is true, then Joseph Smith is a prophet. He saw Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. He translated The Book of Mormon. Ordinances, covenants, and the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ were restored through Joseph Smith. As I’ve studied more of Joseph’s life and the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I’ve come to appreciate how the Lord uses imperfect people to accomplish His work. This gives me hope that the Lord can use me to serve Him and that as I do, I will become the woman He wants me to be.

 

I love being a woman. I’m grateful to be a mom and wife and for the gift of giving birth and the innate need to love and nurture my children.

 

I’m grateful for the great Plan of Happiness and that I can understand my place in the plan as I attend the temple. I love learning about my ancestors, discovering a relative who needs temple ordinances done, and then attending the temple and doing vicarious work for them. I love the peace and direction I receive when I attend the temple.

 

There are many things I do not understand. I wish there was no sorrow, war, terrorism, corrupt governments, greed, abuse, injustice, trials that are too heavy to bear. As I search and wrestle to understand, I’ve come to know that we came to this earth to make choices, that we fought in heaven for the ability to choose, and that God will not take away our agency. There are things I cannot understand now, but through the atonement and the power of grace, all will be made right.

 

I’m grateful to live during the restoration of the gospel and the fulness of times. President Thomas S. Monson is the prophet on earth today. He leads and guides this church. Because of this fulness of knowledge, we can hear, read, watch, listen to, and study the word of God every day. I know that as I study every day, I have peace, joy, and an increased understanding of my Savior and the restored gospel.

 

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I like to write and give talks. I like pondering the topic, formulating the ideas with inspiration, and presenting–although my knees always shake. I also, pridefully, like the positive feedback. And I like being dependable. When I was sixteen or seventeen years old, I arrived at church one Sunday to discover that my name was on the program, but I hadn’t prepared a talk. I was told there were plenty of other speakers on the program and I didn’t need to speak. But I wanted to show I was dependable and could prepare and deliver a talk on short notice, so I checked out a New Era magazine (the church magazine for youth, ages 12-18) from the church building library and prepared and delivered a talk. I was not praised for my talk. In fact, I think some might have been annoyed with me for taking too long, especially since a returned missionary was speaking. Now as an adult with more experience, I realize the folly of my youth. I want to go back to my younger self and tell her to not give the talk, to realize that most people were there to hear the returned missionary. But we learn with age and experience. We learn line upon line.

 

A prophet, Nephi, from The Book of Mormon taught, “For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have” (2 Nephi 28:30).

 

I am still learning line upon line. After one of my brothers left the church, he encouraged me to read The Mormon Essays (also called Gospel Topics Essays), a series of essays published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints which address controversial topics from the history of the church. I didn’t want to read something that encouraged my brothers to doubt their faith. I wanted to feed my faith, not diminish it, so I continued to study the scriptures, lessons for Sundays, and talks from General Conference. Then as happens as we desire to learn and do what is right, the Lord nudged me “here a little and there a little.” My young adult daughter told me about a religion class she took, “Foundations of the Restoration,” which covered the topics in the essays. I began studying the lessons which are on the Gospel Library app under the Seminaries and Institutes tab. My husband told me he was studying “Revelations in Context” under the Church History tab of the Gospel Library. I’m studying those now too. While sanding, priming, and painting our bathroom cupboards, I listened to the “Joseph Smith Papers” program on the Mormon Channel. What I have learned from more in depth studying of our church’s history is that Joseph Smith was a great man and prophet, but he wasn’t perfect. He made mistakes.

 

I’ve had a misconception about our church that it was all restored as is from the beginning. That since the church is true, all programs, procedures, and scriptures were in a perfect form in a handbook for Joseph Smith to easily access, like we have available today. What I’ve learned from my study is that the Lord taught Joseph Smith just as He teaches me, precept upon precept. Many of the revelations came as Joseph Smith translated The Book of Mormon and had questions. For example, as Joseph read in The Book of Mormon about baptism he had a desire to be baptized. On May 15, 1829 Joseph and his scribe, Oliver Cowdery, went to a quiet place on a farm in Harmony, Pennsylvania and prayed. They received an answer. An angel, John the Baptist came and gave Joseph and Oliver the Aaronic Priesthood with the authority to baptize.

 

Instead of weakening my faith, knowing that Joseph Smith was tutored by God bit by bit, increases my testimony of him as a prophet and gives me hope that I can learn and grow, especially as I “hearken unto [the] precepts and lend an ear unto…counsel.”

 

Recently a friend who left the church challenged me to read The Mormon Essays and respond to them in my blog. He wanted to know how a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints felt about them. While I wasn’t ready when my brother asked, I’m ready now. I’ve read a few and am pondering what I’ve read.

 

I am grateful that my testimony of Joseph Smith has increased as I’ve studied our church history. I’m also grateful that the Lord teaches me line upon line, precept upon precept just as He taught Joseph Smith and as He teaches all of us if we “hearken unto [His] precepts,and  lend an ear to [His] counsel.”

Our family became members of the Locust Grove Ward of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when we moved into our first house in Meridian, July 1997. In the past twenty years we had three more children (for a total of five), moved into a different house (January 2002), had five bishops (Jim Brady, Theron Haddon, Richard Van Genderen, Mark Chugg, Casey Butterfield), experienced several ward splits because of continual growth in South Meridian, and experienced our own personal and family growth as we’ve served and been served by the members of the Locust Grove Ward.

 

A ward is a congregation, a group of members who meet together to worship and serve one another. We don’t choose which ward to attend based on friendship or social status. We attend and are members of a ward according to geographical boundaries. As we serve we become friends with those in our ward.

 

In the modern-day church, established in 1830 through the Prophet Joseph Smith, wards were first organized in Nauvoo, Illinois in the 1840s. From an essay by Douglas D. Alder, “The name ‘ward’ was borrowed from the term for political districts of the frontier municipality” (Ward, Harold B. Lee Library). Until the 1890s bishops of wards were also the community leaders and were more responsible for the temporal well-being of the members than the spiritual. Today “the ward is presided over by a bishop and his two counselors. Assisted by several clerks, these men comprise the bishopric. All are laymen and serve without monetary compensation. Bishops of wards extend callings to men and women in the ward so that each may serve in one of numerous offices or teaching positions in the ward” (Ward, Douglas D. Alder).

 

The purpose of a ward or ward family is to help all members and non-members within the boundaries come unto Christ. Jesus Christ served and taught. As we serve and teach one another, we become more like our Savior, Jesus Christ. As we learn from one another and accept service, we experience the Savior’s love through others.

 

An example of the benefits of service in a ward is from our recent experience on a ward trek. To commemorate the sacrifice of handcart pioneers who pushed and pulled their belongings to the Salt Lake Valley, we pushed and pulled handcarts for three days on private land near Banks, Idaho. The bishopric called a couple, Shane and TeAnn Pratt, to organize the trek. Other adults were asked to plan logistics, music, games and activities, and food. My husband and I were asked to be a Ma and Pa. Youth from the ages of 11 to 18 participated and were divided into families. Our sixteen year-old daughter also went but was not in our “family.” We were asked to prepare physically and spiritually for the trek of 18 miles. My husband owns his own CPA business and was not able to start preparing physically until after the middle of April. His preparation was going well until his foot issue flared up two weeks before trek. As happens occasionally, usually under stressful situations (such as buying and selling a house and moving) he was unable to walk without extreme pain. We didn’t know how he could go on trek, but we wanted to be a part of this event where we would learn and grow along with the youth. We asked our bishop, Casey Butterfield and his son who recently returned from a mission to South Korea, Kimball, to give Alden a priesthood blessing. In that blessing, Bishop Butterfield blessed Alden that he would be healed if he was supposed to be on trek. We prayed as a family and his foot improved, but we didn’t know if it would flare up again as he pushed a handcart. Alden received an impression, “Ask for help.” Alden told the trek coordinators that he wanted to go on trek but he would need help. Ryan Spear and Shane and TeAnn Pratt were prayerful in figuring out a solution. When we reported to the kick-off of trek at 6 am Wednesday morning, we were assigned several strong young men to be in our family. All nine of our trek children (6 young men and 3 young women) worked hard and willingly for three days of pushing and pulling. Alden was able to walk the entire way and push and pull some. Because of the service of adult and youth members of our ward, we learned that we can do hard things when we work together. During daily devotionals we shared with each other that when we ask in faith, the Lord will help us. We also developed a greater appreciation for our pioneer ancestors.

 

As of December 31, 2016 there were 30,304 wards and branches (smaller congregations) in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints worldwide. At the beginning of August, we are moving to a different house which will be in a different ward, the Mason Creek Ward. Because we are moving only a few miles away and because the ward boundaries have become smaller and smaller over the past twenty years, we will be with some members who were in the Locust Grove Ward when we first moved out here in 1997.

 

Douglas D. Alder explains how the transition should work when we move, “As Latter-day Saints move throughout the world, they typically transfer from one ward to another with ease, finding acceptance, responsibility, and similarity of doctrine and practice everywhere. The ward system is successful partly because wards are kept small and because, ideally, everyone in them is needed and asked to accept a calling. Serving one another, bearing each other’s burdens, is the norm.”

 

Jesus Christ taught, “Love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34). Alma, a prophet in The Book of Mormon, taught that when we are baptized we “come into the fold of God, and [are] called his people, and…bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light…mourn with those that mourn…comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and…stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:8-9).

 

As we were on trek, I felt extreme gratitude for those who have served us over the years in this ward. I felt sad that I would not be directly associating with these people anymore. I thought about the sacrifices of time and service, and I realized that they serve because they love their Savior, Jesus Christ. They serve because they want to be like Him. When they serve, they help others come unto Christ, and they are rewarded with joy.

 

Since the members of the Mason Creek Ward also love their Savior, Jesus Christ, they will accept us and give us a responsibility. We will be surrounded by those who have the same beliefs and values. And we will have further opportunities to learn, grow, and serve.

 

 

 

 

My ten year-old son gets a migraine headache about once a week. He’s had them since he was about six-years old, but I didn’t know he was having a migraine. He would come home from school, usually on a Wednesday, throw up and sleep for a couple of hours in a dark room. When he first started having them, he described them as sugar-head. Then later that he was overheated. And more recently that there was a flash of light. I’ve had a migraine only once so far. It was shortly after my son described the flash of light. I saw a fuzzy glow to the side, a flash of pain, and then pain so intense, I had to lie down in a dark room, sleep, and wait for it to pass. I think I experienced that one time so I could relate in a small way to my son.

We’ve tried food and activity journals, eliminating foods, and a great doctor who helped him with parasites. He has periods with less headaches and some with more. I think it’s a combination of stress, fatigue, poor eating, possible food sensitivities, and how his body works. Now that he is older, he can sometimes catch them before they get bad. He can better explain to me how they feel. But I still don’t know exactly how he feels, and I can’t take the pain away.

The Sunday before Easter, my son and I pulled into the garage after church. We were the only ones in the car. With one hand on the door, ready to leave, he said, “Mom, Jesus knows what my headaches feel like. And there are billions of people in the world. And he knows what each of them feel. That’s a lot of people.”

That is a lot of people. A lot of pain, sorrow, sin, sickness. Alma, a prophet in The Book of Mormon, prophesied of what Jesus would do for us. He said, “the Son of God…shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:10-12).

My son’s insight has made me think about the number of people in the world who Jesus Christ loves and atoned for. I can’t comprehend the numbers. Then about all the people who have ever lived and who will live. I don’t know how Christ accomplished His atonement. Somehow he suffered for each person. He knows each of our pains personally so he can succor us. That pain is incomprehensible. Jesus Christ told the prophet Joseph Smith, “Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink–” (Doctrine & Covenants 19:18).

What can I do to cause my Savior less pain, to thank Him for the sacrifice of His life for me, to access the power of His Atonement? Jesus Christ said, “Wherefore, I command you again to repent, lest I humble you with my almighty power; and that you confess your sins…Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me” (Doctrine & Covenants 19:20, 23). I need to repent. I need to learn of Christ, through study and through personal prayer, and I need to keep His commandments. Then He promises not only the gifts we will receive after we die, immortality and eternal life, but also peace in this life.

Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace. For my son. For me. And for you.

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2017-02-1000-the-prince-of-peace-find-lasting-peace-through-jesus-christ?lang=eng

Before I was a grandma, other grandparents told me, “Being a grandma is great. You spoil them and give them back.” Or “It was worth it to have children so I could have grandchildren.” I thought this meant that being a grandma would be even better than being a mom, because I would love my grandchildren more, feel greater responsibility, and experience more joy than with my own children. That isn’t what happened.

 

I love my granddaughter and enjoy giving her kisses, holding her, and seeing her crawl, stand, talk, and wave. But I don’t feel a responsibility to change her diapers, make sure she gets fed, or ensure she gets the right amount of sleep. I am more concerned about how my daughter is coping and growing as a mother. I wondered if I was hard-hearted person or calloused from already raising five children of my own. I asked other grandmas and they said they also don’t feel the same responsibility for their grandchildren that they feel for their children. That is what seasoned grandparents meant when they told me, “You spoil them and give them back.” This idea is affirmed in a statement issued in September 1995 from The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The Family: A Proclamation to the World says, “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. ‘Children are an heritage of the Lord’ (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husband and wives–mothers and fathers–will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

 

When my daughter and her husband leave my granddaughter with me, I do feel an increased connection and responsibility for her. Then I can hand her right back when they get home.

 

What I’m learning as a grandma has given me more appreciation and awe for my Savior, Jesus Christ. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I believe that God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are three separate personages. They are also one. Abinadi, a prophet from The Book of Mormon taught, “God himself shall come down among the children of men, and shall redeem his people. And because he dwelleth in flesh he shall be called the Son of God, and having subjected the flesh to the will of the Father, being the Father and the Son–The Father, because he was conceived by the power of God; and the Son, because of the flesh; thus becoming the Father and Son–And they are one God, yea, the very Eternal Father of heaven and of earth” (Mosiah 15:1-4). I can’t pretend to understand the depth of what Abinadi taught, but in simple terms, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are separate beings with the same purpose. Even though Jesus is not the father of our spirits, He is able to feel the same amount of  responsibility for us that our Heavenly Father feels for us. That is because of the Atonement. Jesus Christ suffered for us in Gethsemane, was captured, tortured, and then crucified. In Gethsemane he asked his father, “Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me; nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt” (Mark 14:36). Jesus Christ chose to do the Father’s will and experience all of our pain, sorrow, and sin. He took upon himself the responsibilities of a father so he can love us with the depth of a father. That is why He is both the Father and the Son.

 

I look forward to seeing my children grow as they have children. I know that no matter what happens in this life–joy, sorrow, heartache, birth and death, I can find solace by praying to my Heavenly Father in the name of the Son, Jesus Christ and both will understand and listen to me.

 

This past Sunday in Sunday School we discussed the Atonement and how the Doctrine and Covenants teaches us more about Christ and His Atonement. The Doctrine and Covenants is a book of modern revelations which is considered scripture for Mormons or members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Since all people have access to the Atonement of Jesus Christ I wondered how Mormons are different. Do we believe we have more access to the Atonement?

 

Mormons believe we lived with God, our Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ, our spirit brother before we came to earth. By coming to earth we became separate from God or no longer “at one” because of sin. We want to become “at one” with God again. We want to live as He would have us live in this life and live with Him again after this life. Because our Savior, Jesus Christ, a perfect being, lived a sinless life on earth, suffered for our sins in the garden of Gethsemane, died on the cross, and was resurrected, all people will be resurrected. Because of the Atonement, every person has the opportunity to live with God again.

 

All people, no matter their religion, can access some of the power of the Atonement. We can all come to Christ in sincere prayer and repent of our sins. This brings us closer to God. We can plead with the Savior for relief from our suffering and He will comfort us, bringing us closer to God. We can offer our hearts in service and ask for guidance in doing God’s will. This also brings us closer to God. By offering a broken heart and a contrite spirit, through the Atonement, we can become closer to “At-one-ment” with God. But the ultimate “At-one-ment” with God is eternal life or life with God after this earth. In order to access that complete Atonement and access God’s power to it’s fullest potential, we need to make and keep covenants and participate in ordinances. That is why we need modern revelation or the Doctrine and Covenants. That is the ultimate way to offer our hearts and spirits continually throughout our lives. Those covenants and ordinances were part of Christ’s church but were lost during the apostasy because the priesthood power was lost as the apostles and prophets were killed. Those covenants and ordinances are found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

 

The first covenant we make is through the ordinance of baptism. When we are baptized with proper authority, one having the priesthood of God which was restored to Joseph Smith through John the Baptist, Peter, James, and John, and other ancient prophets, we covenant or promise to take upon Christ’s name, to always remember Him, and to keep His Commandments. Then Christ and our Heavenly Father promise something back to us, something that brings us closer to them—The Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost is the third member of the Godhead, a separate being from God and Christ, and is a spirit. The Holy Ghost helps us to be closer to Christ by comforting and guiding us in keeping the commandments and doing the will of God.

 

In the temple we make more covenants and participate in more ordinances. These covenants and ordinances bring us closer to God because we are doing His will and the Holy Ghost again guides us as we keep the commandments and our covenants. We have greater access to God’s power as we repent and work to become more like God. Attending the temple again and again reminds us of the covenants we have made and teaches us the perspective of eternity, not just this mortal life.

 

Jesus Christ revealed to Joseph Smith why we need to repent and access the power of the Atonement, “Therefore I command you to repent—repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yeah, how hard to bear you know not. For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men” (Doctrine and Covenants 19:15-19). Christ also revealed to Joseph Smith why we need to continually access the power of the Atonement through covenants and ordinances and the gift of the Holy Ghost. “Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me. I am Jesus Christ; I came by the will of the Father, and I do his will” (Doctrine and Covenants 19:24).

 

So, yes, Mormons do believe we have more access to being one with Christ through covenants and ordinances administered through priesthood power. But being Mormon is not exclusive. Every person can learn more about Jesus Christ and the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Missionaries or members of the church that you know are happy to teach you, and then you can study and ask in sincere prayer if what we profess is true—that we are the only church on the earth today with all the covenants and ordinances which were available in ancient times, in Christ’s time, and now in our time.

 

As a Mormon, I believe that Jesus Christ restored His gospel with ordinances and covenants through Joseph Smith. I believe that The Book of Mormon is the word of God. I believe that we have a prophet of God on the earth today, President Thomas S. Monson, who speaks with God and reveals what we need to know. I not only believe, I also know that making covenants through ordinances has given me greater access to the Atonement. I am continually amazed at the further light and knowledge I receive as I ask God in sincerity, repent, desire to know more, participate in my church meetings, daily scripture study, and attend the temple. I have grown and been enlightened through my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and even more important to me, I have had personal spiritual experiences with my Savior.

 

For a greater study of accessing God through the Atonement, listen to Sheri Dew, “Women and the Priesthood” and “The Holy Ghost as Your Companion” by President Henry B. Eyring.