Month: July 2014

How to earn privileges as a teenager or the post my mom’s been waiting 27 years for me to write

Posted on by docena

Last night as I waited for my teenage son to get home from a work party, I had one of those moments I’ve come to think of as “One day you’ll understand what you put me through.” That would be my mom finally getting recognition for the worry I caused her as a teenager. As the time moved past when I thought my son would get home, I became annoyed, then mad, and then worried. He was supposed to get a ride home, but his dad went to get him because I had by then imagined horrid scenarios. It turns out that there was nothing to worry about. The party was just ending. He was having a good time with friends doing fun and appropriate activities. There was a lack of communication for when we thought he was coming home, when we expected him to be home, and what he should do if he was going to be later than we expected. I can now imagine what it must have been like for my mom waiting for me to come home, and why I lost the privilege of getting my driver’s permit for a few months. So, here’s some tips for teenagers that will earn them more privileges and their parents more peace of mind.

 

Before the activity, decide with your parents on the time you are expected home and the nature of the activity.

 

During the activity, if it will go longer or you want to stay longer, call or text and get permission. If you don’t get permission, come home.

 

After the activity, either that night or the next day, tell your parents about the activity. They want to know what’s going on in your life. The more you share with them, the more likely your parents are to let you participate in more activities.

 

In my son’s Freshman Cornerstone class, he learned that the brain is not fully developed until adulthood, in the early 20’s. My husband likes to use this information to tease our teenagers about their faulty choices. I could blame my poor teenage decisions on an undeveloped brain, but I knew inside that I was making poor choices. If I’d figured out how to communicate better with my parents and thought ahead about the consequences instead of the thrill, maybe I would have had a better relationship with them as a teenager and more privileges. I’ll be sharing this advice with my son and can only hope I won’t have too many more chances to learn what I put my mom through.

Why parents need children

Posted on by docena

We all know children need parents. Otherwise they wouldn’t be born. None of us would have been born. Parents also care for, teach, and instill values in their children. Being a parent is a lot of work–often unappreciated, emotional and physical work. So why do people have children?

 

Because sometimes when a man and woman have sex, a baby is created.

 

Because that’s the best way to learn what you put your own parents through.

 

Because in order to learn selflessness, you have to love someone more than yourself.

 

Because other than being married to my husband, the births of each of my five children are the most beautiful moments of my life.

 

Because when we die, someone will remember that we lived.

 

Because the only person you can control in this life is yourself. Children teach you that from the second they enter this world on their own schedule, that first sleepless night, as an 18 month-old that tells you no, a five year-old who lies about the gum he took from his sibling,  a second grader who doesn’t want to return to school, a 10 year-old who hides dirty clothes behind her bed, and a teenage daughter who refuses to talk to her teacher about a failed test. Yes, as a parent I’ve had it pretty good. Though eighteen years ago when my 2 year-old daughter dumped out an entire box of cold cereal after I told her to put it back, I didn’t know how I’d survive let alone teach my children.

 

Because as your children grow, learn, accomplish, and become independent beings with unique talents and abilities, you feel lucky to have in a small way participated in their success. Because as they make decisions for themselves and grow from those good and bad decisions, you feel a tiny portion of our Heavenly Father’s love and concern for each of us.

 

Because, as we learn from Eve in ancient scripture translated by Joseph Smith, “Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient” (Moses 5:11).

 

Because children are a joy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is Mormonism a Cult?

Posted on by docena

If a cult is a group that brainwashes its members so they’ll commit evil acts, then we’re not. If a cult is a group that teaches it’s members to do good and how to receive eternal life, claims to be the only true church of Christ on the earth today, and works to retain it’s members, then we are.

 

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe in grace and works. Yes, we need to accept Christ as our Savior, have faith in His Atonement, and there is nothing we can do to get ourselves to heaven. Because of His atonement and resurrection, all will be resurrected. But not all will obtain eternal life or life with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. That life is possible because of the atonement, through ordinances like baptism, and keeping the commandments. While on earth, Christ did good works and taught us how to live.  He established His gospel, being baptized not because he committed sin, but to show us the way to commit to Him and to become part of His church. If we keep the commandments and enter the waters of baptism through proper authority of the priesthood of God, then we will become His spiritual children, part of His flock. In The Book of Mormon–ancient scripture–the prophet Nephi taught, “For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do” (2 Nephi 25:23).

 

We work diligently to persuade our children and our brethren to believe in Christ. Some might consider that cult behavior. We attend church weekly, have daily prayer and scripture study, and a Family Home Evening once a week. We devote much time to teaching our children the doctrine of Christ. We would also love to teach others. Being Mormon is not exclusive. You don’t have to be born into the church. Every person on the earth–every child of God, is welcome. Then after joining the church, we don’t let you go. We have visiting teaching and home teaching programs where we teach each other monthly in our homes. A record is kept of all memberships and if a previously baptized member no longer comes to church, we still check on them to provide service and in the hopes that one day they will want to come back. Jesus Christ left the ninety-and-nine sheep to look for the one lost sheep.

 

And yes, we are the only true church of Christ on this earth. Many Christian and non-Christian churches have elements of the truth. We have all the teachings, covenants, ordinances, and priesthood authority that Christ gave His apostles. When Peter and the other apostles were killed, that authority was lost. It was restored through Joseph Smith in the early 1800’s, because he asked which church to join. He saw God, the Father and His son, Jesus Christ.

 

Maybe these claims seem ludicrous, exclusive, cult behavior. But we don’t force or coerce. As Nephi also taught, “And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ,and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins” (2 Nephi 25:26). Are these claims true? Are Mormons an evil cult or Christ’s church on the earth today? You can know for yourself. Be taught by the missionaries, study our teachings, pray and ask, and you will find out if we’re radical members of an evil cult or good people trying our best to follow Christ. You’ll find out if this is a group to which you want to belong.

Family Day/Family Night Fun

Posted on by docena

Sunday is the Sabbath Day. Mormons or members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints attend three hours of church on Sunday and sometimes other meetings. Then we spend time with family. The activities we do with family on Sundays are determined in individual families. Growing up, my family didn’t watch TV on Sunday or play with friends. We did play with our siblings. And that’s how our current family functions. Although we do watch a church program occasionally. But we don’t do recreational activities like picnic or boating or hiking. If you live in our neighborhood you may see us on a walk. My husband calls it a forced march because of the children’s complaining, but it’s nice to get out of the house. We also have a family meeting on Sunday to plan and coordinate the week’s events. Then we discuss a religious topic from the missionary manual, Preach My Gospel. This is also when we have a family council or discuss an upcoming vacation or routines and behavior that need to be changed. My husband calls this “the beat down.” I call it raising our expectations.

 

Monday night is also family time. Church leaders have advised us to set aside this night for Family Home Evening, a time together to learn about the gospel and have fun. Most of the time when I was growing up we had Family Home Evening (FHE) on Sunday night because of school activities or jobs on Monday. This is a good solution for families with busy children and teenagers. So far in my current family we’ve been able to have FHE on Monday night, although sometimes one of us can’t be there or we have to schedule it around other activities. We get to have two family gospel discussions–one Sunday and one Monday. My husband would say we are “lucky ducks.”  We have a rotation for prayers, opening song, lesson, activity, and refreshments. The two most important elements for FHE are the activity and refreshments. After a short lesson or a longer one if it’s my turn, we play a game and eat treats. Currently the children choose a Mormon Message or church video that they like and then add part of a talk from a church leader or scriptures for a discussion. Then the fun begins. Our favorite games are hide and seek (with lots of screeching when found), upset the fruit basket (where the youngest seems to always be it), sharks and minnows played in the back yard or in the basement, and the water category game (where my husband uses a ladle instead of a teaspoon to drench those who guess the answer). Then the treat. From opening song to treat, FHE lasts 30-45 minutes. My husband and I would say that’s plenty long enough. My youngest child would say the game should last much longer. We all agree that time together on Sunday and Monday strengthens our family.

What are Mormons selling?

Posted on by docena

If I want to convince you to join our church I could talk to you logically about the benefits of membership. As a member you have immediate access to friends, social groups, and teachers and mentors for your children. Members generally live longer and are healthier because they obey the word of wisdom–God’s revelation on health which is to eat healthy and refrain from tea, coffee, tobacco, alcohol, and harmful drugs. You can play basketball in the gym at the church. There is no fee for a temple wedding and no rental charge for a wedding reception in a church building. When you move, the men can pack your truck. When you have a baby, a member of the Relief Society will bring you dinner.

 

Then there are the reasons I want The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to be true. If I obey the commandments, I can have the blessings of a healthy and happy life now and I can be with my family,  and my Heavenly Father for eternity on the earth which will be celestialized or changed to a perfect world. There will be no evil or temptation or disease. And Christ will reign. My savior, my protector, my advocate. I will be able to embrace Him. The Savior, Jesus Christ is the pivotal selling point of membership. Yet, Jesus Christ is the Savior for every person on earth. Being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not give me exclusive access to the Savior. So, why not just keep attending your church or not attend any church and keep being a good person and help others and pray and repent and read the Bible? Why join a church with rules and “new scripture” and exclusive temples?

 

There’s nothing I can say or do to convince you or sell you on membership in our church. It’s your choice. You, personally, need to study and pray and ask God if our church is the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. If the Book of Mormon is the word of God. If Joseph Smith saw God, the Father and Jesus Christ. If Thomas S. Monson is the prophet today. If the priesthood is again on the earth and through it, we can receive ordinances and make covenants. You need to be taught by the missionaries, read the Book of Mormon, pray, and ask God. If you sincerely work to know if The Church of Jesus Christ is true, you will find out that it is. This will happen through the Holy Ghost. We don’t all feel the Spirit in the same way. It may feel warm and comforting as you study and live the gospel. You may feel tingly and cold when you ask or learn a truth. You may feel joy. You may feel scared and unsure because you are being prompted to do something that is not comfortable to you. Then you need to humble yourself and ask again and be obedient to your feelings.

 

With membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you receive the benefits of following Christ or being Christian plus more. So, find out for yourself. The Spirit will testify to you of the truthfulness of the restored gospel. That’s what we’re selling. The decision is yours.